And so it begins... literally.
April 21, 2012, the day "magic happened", the day our baby was conceived is quickly approaching. Most people don't know the day they conceive but for me, little miss control freak knows. I started tracking my ovulation cycles around November of 2011.
It is hard to believe how much our life has changed over this past year. I try not to let the dates consume me but the anniversaries are hard to ignore. It is also hard for me to wrap my head around how I was feeling this time last year, Excited and Scared, as most people are when they are trying to conceive. Dreaming about our family and how it was all supposed to be. Perfect.
It's been on my mind a lot this week.
I actually work not too far from Madison's resting place and have been wanting to go ever since I've been back at work. I have been too scared to go by myself, scared of what emotions would be brought up, scared to get upset and be alone. Something changed today and I found a new sense on braveness. I was ok, I was calm, and I was content.
(I always thought it was morbid to take pictures at a cemetary, I could not understand why people did it...until it's your own, now I understand)
April 21, 2012, the day "magic happened", the day our baby was conceived is quickly approaching. Most people don't know the day they conceive but for me, little miss control freak knows. I started tracking my ovulation cycles around November of 2011.
It is hard to believe how much our life has changed over this past year. I try not to let the dates consume me but the anniversaries are hard to ignore. It is also hard for me to wrap my head around how I was feeling this time last year, Excited and Scared, as most people are when they are trying to conceive. Dreaming about our family and how it was all supposed to be. Perfect.
It's been on my mind a lot this week.
I actually work not too far from Madison's resting place and have been wanting to go ever since I've been back at work. I have been too scared to go by myself, scared of what emotions would be brought up, scared to get upset and be alone. Something changed today and I found a new sense on braveness. I was ok, I was calm, and I was content.
(I always thought it was morbid to take pictures at a cemetary, I could not understand why people did it...until it's your own, now I understand)
I absolutely love this !!!
ReplyDeleteI conceived in April 2012 too, and am now at the "this time last year I was pregnant" point. It's... I don't know what it is.
ReplyDeleteI love the simplicity of Madison's stone.