We are Young

One month has passed since our daughter Madison became an angel. The past month has flown by so quickly and seems like a blur. It feels like just yesterday we were coming back home from the hospital. I miss feeling her move inside my belly and talking to her. I want to still talk to her because I know she is still listening I but find it hard to. I want her to know how much her Dad and I love her.   We still have not been able to bring home "her box" that was given to us at the hospital. It sits in my parent's living room along with the thumb print tree guest book from my baby shower and the beautiful bird house my mom decorated. I've seen it in there, I've glanced at it but I'm scared of it. We don't know for sure what all is in it other than a CD containing photos that were taken of her and her hand and foot prints. We were at my parent's house Saturday night and we had every intention of bringing it home.  When the time came to leave I chicke

1) My husband is an expert at eating sunflower seeds. Almost squirrel like he stored a hand full of seeds in his cheek, cracked, chewed and spit the shells into an empty Krystal box for hours at a time. After knowing this man for eight years I never knew he had this talent. He attempted to explain the seed eating process to me, but I'm just not that  coordinated. Along with lobster, shrimp and other nuts I just don't see the point of all of the effort it takes to get to a piece of meat or a nut so small. His lovely "spit box" 2) Hotel hair dryers are not normal. No matter where you are. Even at the nicest hotels they still manage to frizz and fry. Don't get me wrong I never leave home without my own personal hairdryer but for some reason I always want to try that cute little convenient one mounted to the wall. (Hotel Dryer) (My Dryer) 3) Never trust a seagull. These birds are mean and they will poop on you. Just lying on the b

Grieving... it is sometimes described as a "roller coaster" but there are no words to describe the roller coaster that I am on.  Some days go by and I am completely fine, I don't know how but we still laugh, I act goofy with Mike and we are "normal"... our kind of normal.    Then, out of no where it's like someone drops a bomb on you and you spin out of control and a wave of emotions take over and you loose complete control. One minute I'm angry that our daughter is gone and I cannot see her or hold her, the next minute I an anxious about how our life will never be the same and how do I go on with day to day activities. It is the strangest feeling to be so out of control of your feelings and emotions. I want to say that we are "OK" and that 90% of the time we are strong and staying positive, I know that is what Madison would want and that she is looking down on us giving us the strenght we need.   We have a wonderful support group that

  Madison Sophia Young Born into Heaven Sunday, November 18, 2012 I saw you in a dream Before you were real I can't explain the way I feel Don't ask me to try It makes my heart cry Love created the seed that attached itself to my heart The seed became a life To me became a part The mystery of how it begins we will never know What makes a seed begin to grow What makes a heart begin to beat Growing little hands and little feet What makes it look like you or me Is simply just a mystery The cosmic force that makes me whole Is bound up in your little soul You hold my hand from inside out I feel you turn and dance about I don't know what's in God's plan He took you by your tiny hand Your beautiful little angle face Is now a part of time and space Your purest soul that's ever been Will never ever be touched by sin I cry, I weep, I cannot sleep I think what might have been Thank you for the joy you