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"So, how's the baby?"

It amazes me how different peoples reactions are when I tell them I lost my baby. All in all I've only had to answer this question about six times. I know that it doesn't sound like an awful lot but each one still manages to throw me into a funk.
Yesterday, three people, today one. I play these conversations over and over in my head and wonder how the other person took the news. It all starts with a sweet, innocent gesture, a simple:

"So, how's the baby?"
I reply, "Unfortunately, we lost her".

If you can imagine the look of someone seeing a ghost, that's about the look I receive. I've heard:

"I'm so sorry",
"God Bless You",
"that's not the answer that I was expecting"
"Oh, I totally forgot!" (guessing this person knew and asked without thinking?!?)

Some people blush and look like they want to run away, some gave me a hug, some say they will keep me in their prayers. And before you know it the convo is over. The only thing more painful than sharing my news is wanting to talk, wanting to explain to these people what I've been through, wanting to talk about Madison but not getting to and even worse.... feeling like it is not welcome.

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 4, 2013 at 5:45 AM

    I want to talk about my youngest son, just as I would any of my babies, but I cry whenever I do, and that seems to make a lot of people uncomfortable.

    I'm sorry Madison isn't here, and that people are not welcoming your stories about her.

    ReplyDelete

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