Skip to main content

One Year Ago

And so it begins... literally.

April 21, 2012, the day "magic happened", the day our baby was conceived is quickly approaching. Most people don't know the day they conceive but for me, little miss control freak knows. I started tracking my ovulation cycles around November of 2011.

It is hard to believe how much our life has changed over this past year.  I try not to let the dates consume me but the anniversaries are hard to ignore. It is also hard for me to wrap my head around how I was feeling this time last year, Excited and Scared, as most people are when they are trying to conceive.  Dreaming about our family and how it was all supposed to be. Perfect.
It's been on my mind a lot this week. 
I actually work not too far from Madison's resting place and have been wanting to go ever since I've been back at work.  I have been too scared to go by myself, scared of what emotions would be brought up, scared to get upset and be alone. Something changed today and I found a new sense on braveness. I was ok, I was calm, and I was content.
(I always thought it was morbid to take pictures at a cemetary, I could not understand why people did it...until it's your own, now I understand)

Comments

  1. I conceived in April 2012 too, and am now at the "this time last year I was pregnant" point. It's... I don't know what it is.

    I love the simplicity of Madison's stone.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Due Date

Welcome to 2013.....2013, the year we were so excited to become parents, have a family and welcome our daughter Madison into the world. When you first find out your "due date" the day is forever engraved in your mind, your body, and your soul. You tell everyone the date and circle every calendar that you own. You count down the weeks until your due date and say it countless times as it's usually the first thing someone asks you when they find out that you're pregnant.  For us January 10, 2013 is that date. There is no guarantee that she would have actually been born on this exact date, but as this date gets closer I can't stop wondering when her actual date of arrival would have been.  January 10th, it seemed like a lifetime away when I saw my first positive pregnancy test on May 4th 2012. I have to say that the 32 and 1/2 weeks that I was pregnant flew by very quickly.... and here we are now into January and I feel this empty feeling inside as I...

Beach, July 4th and 4 Months!

Not sure where this past month has gone? We've been keeping busy with trips to the park, the mall, the supermarket and even took a small beach trip! Mason is changing everyday, he continues to amaze me every morning when I wake up to his sweet smiles. His 4 month check up went great, weighing in at 15.8 pounds and 24.8 inches long! (in the 54th %) He is wearing size 2 diapers now and mostly 6 month clothes. Today He actually rolled over from his back to tummy! Eating has become a little challenging because Mason has become so alert of his surroundings he does not want to concentrate on eating, that and a little teething makes for a fun feeding! We received the ok to start some solids and oatmeal by spoon, as well as bananas, avocado, sweet potatoes and peas.  Mason enjoyed his first beach trip, we loved every minute of the fun in the sun and sand! He really is a water baby.  Sweet Cailyn enjoyed playing with Mason and reading him books too! ...

Mason's Birth Story

March 13, 2014: Even though we knew that I was going in at 5:00 am the next morning for a scheduled c-section, the day couldn't come fast enough. It had been a long nine months and we could not wait to meet our baby boy. The night before the big day, Mike and I ate an early dinner at Outback Steakhouse since we knew it was going to be the last good "going out to dinner" we would have in a few days, or possibly weeks. We went home, packed for the hospital, loaded the car and tried to relax. We got a few hours of sleep the night before, maybe 2-3 to be exact but we were running on adrenaline at that point. March 14, 2014, 3:30 am: The morning the alarms rang loud and clear! Time to go. We hopped in the car and drove straight to Northside Hospital, check in was a breeze and before we knew it I was in a hospital gown getting prepped for surgery.  The time flew by, right up until 7:00am when it was time for the epidural. After a very long hour of testing for numbness it was ...