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Taking the Time to Heal


This whole grieving this is so new to me, up until now nobody died, except for my Grandparents. Each day is like a surprise, good or bad. I feel like time has changed me, I can go for days with out tears. Yes, the tears do still flow freely on occasion but it is getting better, I am slowly healing and learning to accept that Madison's existence will forever be in my heart.

I have been seeing a wonderful counselor/ therapist by the name of Susan Blank. This women's office is big enough to be a closet but the dim lighting, comfy sofa, and soothing music make it very cocoon like.  I feel very safe in this environment and with this woman. I have spent a total of 2 hours talking to Susan (two sessions) and cannot believe the amount of topics that I have been able to open up to and talk to her about. We discuss my grief, the grieving process and coping techniques. We also talk about my fears and my anxiety, she has shown me breathing techniques for those as well.  It is amazing that in just an hour I feel like I can breath, I have clarity and I have confidence. I am learning to accept. 

Along with seeing Susan, I have been reading the book Empty Cradle, Broken Heart written by a phycologist named Dr Deborah Davis. This lady gets it. 
This has been my go-to book since day one. It's not the type of book that you read from cover to cover, you skip to the sections that speak to you the most. I've read a few chapters numerous times. 
Chapter One discusses the ‘D’ word, expectations, and loneliness. As I continued reading it made me realize that I was normal. As I grieved I thought I was having thoughts that no one else had. I thought I was losing my mind. This book showed me that all my thoughts were normal and even went into detail about some of the thoughts I was having. 
I will be purchasing a few copies of this book to donate to Northside Hopsital in honor of Madison. It would be so helpful for the loss office to give out copies to families who suffer a loss.


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