Yes.... this is the extent of our New Years celebration this year. Mom, Dad, Heather and Jeff joined Mike and I for our traditional New Years Eve Chinese dinner. We usually go out to our favorite hibachi restaurant, but this year we opted to stay in and order delivery. It looked like a small buffet, we ordered way to much food but it made for great leftovers. We all read our fortunes for the upcoming year, except me... we were one cookie short and I chose to forgo my fortune.
Grieving... it is sometimes described as a "roller coaster" but there are no words to describe the roller coaster that I am on. Some days go by and I am completely fine, I don't know how but we still laugh, I act goofy with Mike and we are "normal"... our kind of normal. Then, out of no where it's like someone drops a bomb on you and you spin out of control and a wave of emotions take over and you loose complete control. One minute I'm angry that our daughter is gone and I cannot see her or hold her, the next minute I an anxious about how our life will never be the same and how do I go on with day to day activities. It is the strangest feeling to be so out of control of your feelings and emotions. I want to say that we are "OK" and that 90% of the time we are strong and staying positive, I know that is what Madison would want and that she is looking down on us giving us the strenght we need. We have a wonderful support group that
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